Finding My Whole Self in Fashion & Styling - Annette's Whole Story

Finding oneself is a journey sought by us all at one point in our lives. We establish these identities through our families, work and passions, ranging from science, music, culture, fashion and so much more.

The first thing we perceive about another's story or persona is in the effort and ways they adorn their bodies, that accompanies their aura and diposition, giving you a glimpse into their mind. Like tea and bread, Kimonos and palazzos or the mind and body, one cant go without the other. The truth is ? Our outer appearance and first impressions are registered in our perciver's mind as the clothing you wear and the energy that you excude; your identity.

If clothing is a fundamental form of self-expression, why have larger bodies been denied the tools to create and celebrate their identities through fashion for so long?

For Annette, forming this partial outer and inner identity begun with her sister's hand me downs, her self-made DIY tops and a clothes swapping event, where I first caught a glimpse of her light

So I set out to explore the deep-rooted connection between personal style and self-expression, showcasing how clothing choices serve as a powerful form of communication and identity for Annette.

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This is what she had to share about developing her personal style and identity with fashion as a plus size woman.

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How does your personal style reflect different aspects of your identity and personality?

So my name is Annette. I really enjoy what Jerry is doing with the whole brand, making sure that people like to show up and feel welcome in an industry that really glorifies petite to small men and women. And I feel so welcome and safe.

I feel like growing up with siblings, I have a bigger sister. So you know, in the African family setup, it's always hand me down. So I've never really had my own personal style. So one of the things I really aim for once I finished high school was to get out there and get my own style. But come out to discover that it's not as inclusive. So I had to be creative in what I do. Yeah. But I feel like it makes me feel like I can be seen and open and say this is who I am.

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And you know how people can do it through like piercings, tattoos and even a star. So I feel like all that together just makes me, it makes you know that this is Annette. This is not Annette someone someone's sister. This is Annette as her own individual and I feel like that's what really inspires me with my style. I feel like my style evolves depending on what I find but also I try as much as I can to keep up with the trends that go on. I can't do it 100% because of the limitations that are extenuating circumstances that are there, but I try as much as I can because I also want to feel included in the community. That in itself makes it really interesting and fun to do it.

Can you describe a memorable outfit or fashion moment that deeply resonated with who you are?

I can say this one time, my friend was having her birthday and previously I had made this top it was a DIY top

I'm just cutting off pants I thought for so long how am I going to style it and then I actually did it I wore it to the skirt and I felt so good but then I felt so uncomfortable it's not something that I have done before so I really wanted to push myself and put myself out there like this is how I can actually dress.

And when I go to the place, there is this one person who is like really, really fashionable. You know, someone who I look up to.

She was like, I love your outfi!

I was like, oh my God, stop it! Oh, you mean? I was so happy, I felt so confident after that. I really love that. And ever since that day, it just, it forced me and it just showed me that if you put yourself out there, people will notice and also you'll feel happy. I like making it myself, but see I tailored it to my body.

Yeah, so it, I felt more comfortable in it because I wasn't afraid. Maybe if I wear this one, it might be too small, my skin would be, I'd look like a balloon.

But this one just fit me as it should, like the same way if it was a smaller size for someone else, it would fit them. Yeah, that's what I really appreciated about it. If I was to source it from a local retail store, there's little control you have over that. Yeah, and I'm not so sure. It might fit my bust, but it shouldn't fit my shoulders. You know, it's something I still struggle with, because there's one thing my mom always tells me, you are the grandmother, I'm not, because I always leave the house with something covering my you know my shoulders my arms because I'm very self-conscious about my arms. So real. You know this day I'm telling myself I'm leaving I saw this picture I was like I'm doing it I'm doing it you know and you leave the house with yeah I know you do it scared didn't you? Yeah you did scared but you still do it and like you were telling me I'll say I've done it you know once you've done it you say no one died you know I did not die. With the line of work I'm in, I'm not very able to express myself using my fashion

In what ways has fashion served as a form of communication or expression for you?

Because I work in hospitality and 90% of the time I'm in the same clothes every day because it's uniform, you know? So that's also something I was thinking about when I came back home, because I really love shopping. So I was like, I'll buy this, but then I won't wear it. And, you know, so that is also limiting my self-expression in terms of what I want you to know about me.

But I try, I try as much as I can to also associate myself with people who really encourage you to, like, get out of your comfort zone and express yourself. I have really fashionable friends.

I can say, ah!

Yeah, and it also makes me feel like, you know what, I can do this. And even though it's not like what people say, like this outfit is for tomorrow, it's for another day, it's for a special occasion. No, they're like, every day is a special occasion. But I'm still a bit, I'm aware of people looking at me. I feel like once I work on that

and learn how to not feel self-conscious, not be looked at or seen.

Yeah, I get you.

And also just pushing myself, honestly. Yeah, okay. Honestly, I feel like it's something I need to learn. Yeah, internally? Is it an internal thing or an external thing? It's an internal thing, honestly, because everywhere I've been, you know, I'm tall and I'm plus size. So you can imagine, like I stand out everywhere. And so I had to learn how to like push myself down, how to shrink myself.

So in terms of like how I speak, so that's why I feel like that also contributed to how I am in terms of my personality. I'm not very forthcoming. I'm not outgoing and stuff like that. You're comfortable. Yes. So learning how to deal with that and learning past behaviors and you know bad coping mechanisms. So allow me to be free.

Yes.

Those will allow me to be free.

Yeah.

How do you use clothing as a tool for self-discovery and empowerment?

So you know how crop tops came to be?

Yeah.

So they were a trend but then now it was only the small girlies who were wearing them. Yeah, who were wearing crop tops. So finally, I was like, you know what, Annette, wear them. What will happen? Nothing. So right now, once I embraced the wearing of crop tops, you know, small top, big bottom, you know, I discovered that I like how I look in that. Yeah. And also because I have tattoos in certain places. Yeah. I feel so nice, like my tattoos are my surgery, you know.

Absolutely, I love that.

And so I discovered that about myself. Like I like showing skin. It's not, I don't have to be very modest. Yeah. Or very revealing. Yeah. But just the nice, you know, the classy, the chic, you know. And with that, it helped me, actually it opened the door for me to discover different types of styles for me. Like it's not just wearing the long sleeves and the jacket. Because I can also wear, like what I'm wearing, and I'm wearing a small top but I have a kimono on. Yeah, I feel very comfortable instead of wearing the t-shirt that I wear. Years back and yeah, so I can say that really helped me discover myself and my sense of fashion. Yeah, and allowed me to take more risks. Yeah, what I do. I feel at home in my body. Like I was telling you about the corset thing. Yeah. Yeah. Corsets look really beautiful.

Corsets are it. You know. Yeah. And everyone is buying them and they look so good. But then now, um, when I get them, they don't fit right. They might fit my torso okay, but then my bust is loose communicate who I am as a person and not be conformed to, yeah, confined, sorry, confined to what other people or how I have been before. And it allowed me to also like grow as a person. Yeah, maybe 10 years ago I was wearing this type of, you know, aesthetic, but then now I'm wearing this. I'm different you know like that's one thing I need people to understand like changes and with the change means is something I'm trying to communicate to you guys that I have grown as a person emotionally, spiritually. I love it.

Also I'm confident in different you know. There are more pieces of myself being seen and being put out there. Pole pole. I love it. Yeah it's not just one off like once I do this that's it for me. And that's my comfort zone forever. Yeah, I'm also learning and I want you to know that I'm learning. So we are learning together, you're learning with me. Yeah, I love it. Oh, that's perfect.

Outro

Thank you so much. Like, you've been so open and honest and genuinely committed to showing your whole and full self.

So I'm so grateful.

I'm also grateful to you, Lisa. And we have an amazing community of women just like Annette that we are trying to build and grow. So follow us on all our social media platforms. You'll get information on all our offerings. And you can join us, feel whole, explore your mind, your body, and grow from there. Thank you so much for your time.

Thank you so much for your time. Bye.